all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
