the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
