I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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