well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
