What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
