Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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