Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
