I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
