I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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