Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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