Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
