Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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