Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
