I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
