That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
