Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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