I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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