I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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