A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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