i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
