I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
