I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
did i just pee glitter
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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