I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
