im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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