even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
