Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
