Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
third nipple confirmed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
