I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
