just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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