i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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