Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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