She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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