Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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