She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
