I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
