Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize