we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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