Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
