just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
