No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
