you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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