I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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