You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
