If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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