When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
