I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
