"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
