bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
