the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
