please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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