Your dad touched me again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
