ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
